freedomday

am i that unimportant to be chucked aside for a night out at town?

even friends dont do that man fuck.

granted, i've been greedily taking up every opportunity i have to meet up with people, many many people, just to get my mind off... things...

well now that i think about it certain people must have took a certain amount of effort to put up with my antics. when i know that someone snaps because of me then i know that i havent really been much of a friend... or anything for that matter. just some fool who regurgitates the same old laments he did about a month ago.

well, dear friend, amid the sadness of my behavior i feel this great sense of appreciation, just so you know.

i realise my display picture has been the same one since 2006. yet, i feel no inclination to change it. why, you may ask?

cuz damn i looked fucking hot that night (:

see the good thing about being friends with abbas is that he will listen to you speak, every word of it. until of course he finds that you are bullshitting so much he'll stop you right there and tell you to fucking wake up and not be so deluded.

sigh.

i, dont want to throw it away. but saying that, i dont really want to confront anything right now, even if it means staring at my ceiling every night knowing that i just, have to, just have to reach for my phone and it'll be a bit better, i would have had a conversation.

if, your two best friends make the exact same observation about you, you know you're screwed. yes, maybe i've gone a bit harder, more cynical, desensitized, but hey, everyone needs a good cynic aye?

haha how's that for cynicism. eat that balls.

today my dad parked the car head first beside a wall. and when i was reversing the car out of the lot, guess what i heard a loud sound and found that the car's fender came off because it got blocked by the wall. well, dad got mighty pissed and there goes my pay for this month.

dunno if i can still manage the $85 windsurfing level 1 proficiency i wanna do with tobias.

or the cuban salsa thing i wanna do with abbas.

this, i guess, is how you do it. how you busy yourself with whatever it is that can keep you busy in hopes of getting your mind off things you shouldnt think about.

hope.

but then hoping too much isnt really a good thing is it? because if it fails you then you'd be way more disappointed than you should.

that's why people like me eventually dont hope, because hey zero hope equates to zero disappointment aye?

which, eventually leads me to square one trying to get my mind of things i shouldnt think about. i guess it'll just be there roaming around the top of my head trying to get from one end of my brain to the other a couple of thousand times.

my best friend the ceiling. he has had his fair share of flinging bogies.

that place opposite azie's house. good food. great toilet. i tell you, it's wheelchair friendly, nice orange hue of wall tiles, picit2 nye hose, urinal beside toilet bowl, dustbin, mirror, sink, and a water tap below it for feet. air sanitizer and toilet bowl sanitizer too.

wah.

but the food was also sumptious lah eh, and i admit me feeding everyone else was in part due to the fact that i was unable to finish my food and wanted to shit.

glad you enjoyed it brother. the cock session after was downright necessary. now i got another spot where i can drive to...

the best thing was, me and khai learnt a valuable lesson! his tyre got punctured when he was sending me home and we single-handedly changed the tyre! okay lah so the shell guy helped a bit and so did a taxi driver. but we did all the work! eh valuable lesson okay.

but how the hell the tyre got punctured i have no idea, i suspect a shard of glass was responsible. timing terror man, luckily it was near a shell station and past midnight, not many cars.

i also want to blog about something else. but i always want to blog about that something. and i should try to stop. stop it.




stop it.

a couple of days ago, my computer crashed. now im just using the laptop.

just saying.

before i was just an astronaut
leaping and bounding farther that any of you.
an astronaut
oh how i wished it were to stay true.
all this dissolved, the two involved
decided
that life was far too complicated.
and we're just better off
before before.
i just went along for this here ride.
a racer on his bike.
dodging potted plants and those extremely slow moving greyish things.
old aunts?
yeah. but this racer ended up at the same old place
he was before.
how now? how now young cow.
or calf, should i choose to be profound.
i'll tell you how, let's tell you now
if you would, kindly allow
i'll tell you now, if i could
but the thing is i cant
im about as stumped as you dude.
so let this racer get back on his bike.
he'll move along, maybe someone'll hitch hike
maybe that someone is you, maybe you'll have your own set of wheels
or maybe..
you'll make like a Dorothy and bring yourself home; click them heels.

at work today, some irritating problem decided to present itself to me. of course i didnt cause the problem and i had no intention of wanting to deal with it. after complaining to jason the smart ass, he told me that

of course it's my problem. it's just not my fault.

which is true. is true, for a lot of things in this here life. so how? haha nevermind ah. i dealt with said problem anyway, as i did with everything else. life goes on man.

i got a set of pushups handles from naim today. those handles u put on the floor and do pushups. why i buy? cuz doing the conventional way hurts my wrist, a problem that has bothered me since jc. god knows how i survived ocs.

yes yes im all about getting buffer. i just bought myself a loaf of bread, took out all the bread and spread peanut butter and jam on them, and put it back in the wrapping looking exactyly the same and im gonna bring it to work.

now the only thing that will make this work is that i dont stop doing this cool beans workout thing.

im gonna shop for clothes soon.

something did happen baby
something spectacular

remember.

been going in and out of the net, particularly livejournal, for most of the day. and when im in camp too. what im looking for? i dont know. i dont even know why i have to go online every few hours. not that im in the mood for much else.

and oh, wikipedia has lost it's allure. goodness, the tragedy.

i have a hunch that one of those things which brings this forboding feeling every time it wants to happen, will happen. and that sucks. hope nothing big changes.

i have yet to watch the incredible hulk, and you dont mess with the zohan.

i need to go for a concert. hmm.