my life, in brown and red

dawn of an era

2009-05-03T17:43:09Z

insert expletive

2008-08-17T11:06:34Z

am i that unimportant to be chucked aside for a night out at town?

even friends dont do that man fuck.

puki sial

2008-08-14T14:50:11Z

1.5 k

and i swear it's not even funny. you laugh in my face i swear i will fucking punch you.

the day had been bad the moment i opened my eyes.

fedora?

2008-08-11T15:11:58Z

granted, i've been greedily taking up every opportunity i have to meet up with people, many many people, just to get my mind off... things...

well now that i think about it certain people must have took a certain amount of effort to put up with my antics. when i know that someone snaps because of me then i know that i havent really been much of a friend... or anything for that matter. just some fool who regurgitates the same old laments he did about a month ago.

well, dear friend, amid the sadness of my behavior i feel this great sense of appreciation, just so you know.

i realise my display picture has been the same one since 2006. yet, i feel no inclination to change it. why, you may ask?

cuz damn i looked fucking hot that night (:

viva forever

2008-08-10T15:27:10Z

see the good thing about being friends with abbas is that he will listen to you speak, every word of it. until of course he finds that you are bullshitting so much he'll stop you right there and tell you to fucking wake up and not be so deluded.

sigh.

i, dont want to throw it away. but saying that, i dont really want to confront anything right now, even if it means staring at my ceiling every night knowing that i just, have to, just have to reach for my phone and it'll be a bit better, i would have had a conversation.

if, your two best friends make the exact same observation about you, you know you're screwed. yes, maybe i've gone a bit harder, more cynical, desensitized, but hey, everyone needs a good cynic aye?

haha how's that for cynicism. eat that balls.

today my dad parked the car head first beside a wall. and when i was reversing the car out of the lot, guess what i heard a loud sound and found that the car's fender came off because it got blocked by the wall. well, dad got mighty pissed and there goes my pay for this month.

dunno if i can still manage the $85 windsurfing level 1 proficiency i wanna do with tobias.

or the cuban salsa thing i wanna do with abbas.

this, i guess, is how you do it. how you busy yourself with whatever it is that can keep you busy in hopes of getting your mind off things you shouldnt think about.

hope.

but then hoping too much isnt really a good thing is it? because if it fails you then you'd be way more disappointed than you should.

that's why people like me eventually dont hope, because hey zero hope equates to zero disappointment aye?

which, eventually leads me to square one trying to get my mind of things i shouldnt think about. i guess it'll just be there roaming around the top of my head trying to get from one end of my brain to the other a couple of thousand times.

my best friend the ceiling. he has had his fair share of flinging bogies.

jwg

2008-08-08T17:48:18Z

that place opposite azie's house. good food. great toilet. i tell you, it's wheelchair friendly, nice orange hue of wall tiles, picit2 nye hose, urinal beside toilet bowl, dustbin, mirror, sink, and a water tap below it for feet. air sanitizer and toilet bowl sanitizer too.

wah.

but the food was also sumptious lah eh, and i admit me feeding everyone else was in part due to the fact that i was unable to finish my food and wanted to shit.

glad you enjoyed it brother. the cock session after was downright necessary. now i got another spot where i can drive to...

the best thing was, me and khai learnt a valuable lesson! his tyre got punctured when he was sending me home and we single-handedly changed the tyre! okay lah so the shell guy helped a bit and so did a taxi driver. but we did all the work! eh valuable lesson okay.

but how the hell the tyre got punctured i have no idea, i suspect a shard of glass was responsible. timing terror man, luckily it was near a shell station and past midnight, not many cars.

i also want to blog about something else. but i always want to blog about that something. and i should try to stop. stop it.

stop it.

sungfest

2008-08-03T18:37:07Z

so i just got back from fort canning aye. singfest was the shit.

so i met abbas at ps and we roamed around carrefour looking for water and snacks then we met up with yanto and then prem desmond gopinathan and we ended up eventually with a whole group of girls who apparently were quite good looking. didnt notice though

got into the concert area, but we had to wait for an hour plus in the hot hot heat until the doors to the main stage opened. curses.

anwyway, opened up with stacie orrico and i tell you she is one hot hot hot lady man. not at all slim, but hell she had some curves there. plus her singing wasnt bad at all i thought. songs she sang greatly exploited her not-that-bad vocal range. of course only two of them were familiar to me.

after that was this dude jamie scott. well. let's just say i chilled to his songs all the way. wah sorry lah i dont even know who the hell he is.

but but but but after that was one republic! wah fucking awesome band i tell you. the band is fucking versatile, switching instruments like nobody's business. for this one yanto and desmond went nearer to the stage, away from our damn good picnic spot. i, i stayed where i was (: haha dah puas lah. i stood at the front at two mtv asia awards (2002 2004) and linkin park at the padang back in 04 and muse last year. anyway i told myself that i was just gonna groove to the songs with a lil more space than those at the front step pogo mcm takda keje.

anyways one republic played a rocking set with songs that we know and songs that we dont know. but it's okay (:

panic at the disco was initially disappointing.

their first song, we cant hear jack shit because everything was too freaking soft. and they were just in their own world they didnt realise that we were calling out to them to turn it up. that was quite sad. i think they were playing But It's Better If You Do but haha i can never know can i?

the second song they played was worse. Urie's mike got totally cut off. no sound. but after that it was all good munn. didnt expect to hear Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off but they played it balls. and I Write Sins Not Tragedies. and of course that new kul sembilan single.

JASON MRAZ WAS NEXT and i tell you that dude can sure please a crowd. his impromptu jam sessions with his horns section and that bongo guy he always brings around and that virtuoso bassist wah lau ey cibai fucking good can.

rick astley.

pussycat dolls were... hmm.. let's just say they were aesthetically pleasing. extremely extremely so. hmm so so hot. every single last one of them. now if only i can remember all their names.....

but i got annoyed at this idiot ang moh who clearly spilled beer on my mat and i stepped on it getting my socks wet. when i confronted him about it he was like "i dont have beer on me!" which was true, only because he threw the cup on the floor. stupid bastard. after that he left.

now the last one. alicia keys. i seriously thing she had her heart broken or something lah. she kept playing sappy songs macam trying to get over some lost love or something. a couple of the songs everyone knew how to sing, but a whole lotta them we dont even know girl. but it's okay. she redeemed herself at the end, ending the whole concert with a heart thumping rendition of No One everyone still danced along to it even after she left the stage (but the rest of her band were still playing).

well. i saw a couple of familiar faces. fang from sierra, zm goh who didnt see me. faradee and also dicky sofian with girl. ain and sister was there too.

now..... im at home. i still have the wristband on. although, typing all this stuff in the dead silence of the night with nothing except my own click clicking of the keyboard, i feel quite alone. quite alone..

computer

2008-07-29T12:40:58Z

a couple of days ago, my computer crashed. now im just using the laptop.

just saying.

juicing the amygdala

2008-07-14T16:11:38Z

before i was just an astronaut
leaping and bounding farther that any of you.
an astronaut
oh how i wished it were to stay true.
all this dissolved, the two involved
decided
that life was far too complicated.
and we're just better off
before before.
i just went along for this here ride.
a racer on his bike.
dodging potted plants and those extremely slow moving greyish things.
old aunts?
yeah. but this racer ended up at the same old place
he was before.
how now? how now young cow.
or calf, should i choose to be profound.
i'll tell you how, let's tell you now
if you would, kindly allow
i'll tell you now, if i could
but the thing is i cant
im about as stumped as you dude.
so let this racer get back on his bike.
he'll move along, maybe someone'll hitch hike
maybe that someone is you, maybe you'll have your own set of wheels
or maybe..
you'll make like a Dorothy and bring yourself home; click them heels.

shopping

2008-07-13T14:10:08Z

i spent close to 200 bucks yesterday on clothes and a pair of shoes. wow gerek sial. lately i feel the need to dress up whenever i go out, of course other than when i go to work, in which i'll just throw on some polo tshirt and any pair of jeans.

good buys. good company. damn right. now i just have to iron my uniform for work tomorrow. booking in at 6 in the morning and im sure that will make me a very irritable person for the first half hour of work tomorrow. gonna teach some unit the art of the P226. yay.

g

2008-07-11T15:02:36Z

up by two, now im one kilogram less than my normal self man.

and yes, that is quite heartening.

TGIF baby. work has been one bugger what with the last minute arrows flying around and me who just happens to specialise in P226.

changing my skin to fit the green

2008-07-10T16:31:47Z

at work today, some irritating problem decided to present itself to me. of course i didnt cause the problem and i had no intention of wanting to deal with it. after complaining to jason the smart ass, he told me that

of course it's my problem. it's just not my fault.

which is true. is true, for a lot of things in this here life. so how? haha nevermind ah. i dealt with said problem anyway, as i did with everything else. life goes on man.

i got a set of pushups handles from naim today. those handles u put on the floor and do pushups. why i buy? cuz doing the conventional way hurts my wrist, a problem that has bothered me since jc. god knows how i survived ocs.

yes yes im all about getting buffer. i just bought myself a loaf of bread, took out all the bread and spread peanut butter and jam on them, and put it back in the wrapping looking exactyly the same and im gonna bring it to work.

now the only thing that will make this work is that i dont stop doing this cool beans workout thing.

im gonna shop for clothes soon.

oh, and bon voyage babe, im gonna have my time to do cool beans stuff like that. me? spain. now i just have to make friends with hot spanish babes... or hairy spanish guys.

built up so much it crushed us everyday

2008-07-04T16:33:48Z

catharsis. im letting go.

the subject of my 1.5, now, it's just me babe, it's all me. and by golly im gonna give myself the same attention and effort and breeze through this.

the fondness stays, but it's high time we just sit back and see where your train goes, where it will lead, which fork to take. let's not put my hopes up. let's just... chill.

singfest in august. im going. probably abbas. i need this kinda shit man.

rode a bike just now and i hit gear three (heehee) maybe i should get myself a bike license. oh, you didnt know? i got my class three. a year and a half after taking my basic theory. who's to blame?

national service. cant wait to get out of that bullshit.

you heard me, you heard me right. bull freaking shit.

she took me by the hand. such a long time.
brought me along for a ride. so so fine.
took me blind
i couldnt find
the path she took after i got left behind

maybe i'll catch up with her? maybe not? who's to say (:

down from 55

2008-06-29T04:01:18Z

i lost three kilograms. noticed when i looked in the mirror and saw a stick for an arm.

texting the other.

2008-06-25T15:26:22Z

something did happen baby
something spectacular

remember.

your number has been called

2008-06-22T14:23:57Z

been going in and out of the net, particularly livejournal, for most of the day. and when im in camp too. what im looking for? i dont know. i dont even know why i have to go online every few hours. not that im in the mood for much else.

and oh, wikipedia has lost it's allure. goodness, the tragedy.

i have a hunch that one of those things which brings this forboding feeling every time it wants to happen, will happen. and that sucks. hope nothing big changes.

i have yet to watch the incredible hulk, and you dont mess with the zohan.

i need to go for a concert. hmm.

cross the border

2008-05-31T17:15:30Z

naz isnt here and i find myself bumming around at home not wanting to do much. because she's always been the one i hang out with most often. oh well. she's coming back in a while. i miss that girl.

oh course, you've probably heard by now the peoples of perdayu tpjc have outdone themselves yet again. and of course, the dikir guys were awesome, what with their gimmicks and jazz and stuff. and of course i didnt quite understand the whole show as much as i wanted to. no lah i mean i understand what was going on and stuff. but i always wished i could do with the malay language what i could with the english language, know what i mean?

it's a bit late. about two weeks late. but i guess i'll publicise it anyway. ive changed my course and am no longer going to NTU English in 2009. instead im going to NUS FASS. always preferred the latter if you ask me. i guess the interview on guitarists and matrix doors went well after all.

class 3

2008-05-26T14:38:21Z

it has reached the point where i just pay the guy money to drive around legally. and talk about instant pratas.

i figured i could make a bloody good newscaster. i was reading out news along with channel 5 9:30 news and friggin hell i could read news like a rifleman could strip man. nevermind.

i doubt i made much sense right there. oh woe is me my profession calls me thither.

i lost my phone

2008-05-17T16:58:17Z

i fell asleep around before asar and woke up around before maghrib to find my mobile phone unfindable. i checked my whole room and under my bed and in the living room and everywhere else but i just cant seem to find it. so i gave up. to my surprise my phone popped up in my room about five hours later. i swear i checked that same spot where it suddenly burst right back into existence.

well, at least now i have my phone. come to think of it, my stuff has always had a knack for losing themselves suddenly. i lost a brand new pair of nike socks last year and have yet to find it, and more recently i lost my brown army tshirt. plus, i keep losing my guitar picks. i swear two months ago i just bought 3 of them. went all the way to swee lee to friggin buy, only to have the 3 reduced to 1.

maybe my room's just messy.

glass.

2008-05-12T13:57:59Z

i was in a bus from sengkang on the way home, when i passed by hougang interchange and saw these block of flats me, ahmad, khai and (possibly) yingliang went to to study during our a level year. in a very spontaneous turn of events instead of studying at our usual tampines library we decided to go somewhere fresh and eventually we ended up there. those were the days man.

baby's back (:

today i saw someone who was leggy and curvaceous

2008-05-10T18:31:12Z

ahmad brought out the car today. never mind where we went initially (Victory murtabak and sheesha at Al-Majlis), at around midnight we made our way to the centre of the earth for transgenders aka changi. and saw hot hot s/hes. yeah balls.

i must say, they really go out of their way to get some business.

hello weekend.

2008-05-10T05:28:04Z

okay i just checked my bill, and i think i got a bone to pick with SingTel. never mind the five figure sum (read: $XXX.XX), i have this service provided by SPH on my mobile which costs $9 every month. they give me Lifestyle, New Paper and ST on my mobile apparently. but the thing is, my phone's not even 3g. hell i wouldnt even say it's 2g. it's more like one and a half g. cant talk into the receiver half the time. so i went to have it cancelled and realised that i cant. i need my mum who's apparently my guarantor. i didnt even know she was my guarantor. haha.

fass called me thursday while my guys were shooting bullets to ask for an interview. must have been annoying for the woman on the other line to hear gunshots and me screaming into the phone. so yesterday was the interview. i cant say how well i think it went. i can tell you though that the guys come up with the most interesting array of questions. the first thing they asked me when i came in was who was my favourite guitarist (i wrote that i play guitar in the application). i was dumbstruck. who WAS my favourite guitarist? do i even have one? i think i dont. so i just said Marty Friedman. the only reason i did was cuz i wikied him the morning of the interview. then they asked me some lit qns which was fine. until they asked me which was the most recent text i read. then i realised, i havent read anything other than lesson plans, admin instructions and TSR. -_- so i just said the alchemist, which i read like, last year. then i remembered that i read shopaholic and baby a few weeks back. damn, shouldve said that, would have been interesting.

they also asked me stuff like 'if there were two doors in front of you, one with a male classic novelist and one with a female, which would you pick?' and 'if Obama came into office and you were his advisor how would you advise him on the situation in iraq?' and 'would he be able to change the world if he was in office?' and 'did george bush change the world?'

bah.

circumferential?

2008-04-29T14:39:54Z

i decided quite a while ago that i want to start watching football again. yes, i used to be one of those people. watch football everyday, buy football magazines every week. yes, every week. if i recall i found out form a magazine that andy cole used to work in a fish factory... or something.

i used to wake up at 2 plus 3 just to watch a match, and i remember seeing man utd through their glory years, and the treble. i even remembered that they wore red/white instead of red/black when they were up against tottenham during the premier league decider. and les ferdinand scored against them. i think.

i've followed the game when it was world cup season though. i guess the fever hit me, like every other tom. so now, i'm going to start to follow football. yes.

saying this, i still wont wake up to watch man utd and barcelona later in the morning. lest i fall asleep at work.

long walk

2008-04-27T12:21:19Z

ive past that stage in the army where i suffer every day for one simple thing; the bar.

it's been more than a month since that day, and things are as good as it can get for me.

as it can get. but it aint much. in the army i mean. i realise though, now that there's nothing much to look forward to, i dont really find myself as motivated and full of hope as before.

and we all know we need a lil bit of hope in our lives.

but who knows ay? maybe it's gonna be one hell of a ride, this.
anyway, yes, i do realise that i have not been updating much. nine weeks in fact.

guard duty

2008-02-23T14:59:48Z

EFFING STUPID SYSTEM. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE